“Your life will get better when you realize it’s better to be alone than to chase people who really don’t care about you.” – Dr. Thema Bryant
We have a natural tendency as human beings to want to belong. We want to be part of the group. We’re wired like that, as a way to keep safe. For centuries, if you weren’t part of the community, you’d probably starve, or worse.
Still, in the 21st century, we have that desire to be accepted by everyone else. And, while there may be times that the safety that comes with belonging may still matter, in today’s world it’s just as likely to be a trap. Especially for leaders.
How often as a leader do we make decisions or choose a course of action with the primary driver being “What will everybody think?”. We don’t want someone else to be angry, or we want them to think we’re smart and in control, or we don’t want to look like we’re completely crazy.
The problem is that most of the people we’re trying to please or impress aren’t really interested in what’s best for us or the organizations we lead. Everyone has their own specific needs and wants, and those needs and wants are the priority. Your needs and wants are not. So we end up chasing the praise and approval of people who aren’t even concerned about the things that are most critical to us.
Think about some recent decisions you’ve made or actions you’ve taken. Were they entirely based on what you thought was best for the organization? Or were they about wanting to look smart, or successful, or not crazy?
Most leaders would hate to admit that they make decisions based on anything other than a clear vision of what’s best for the organization they lead. But after years of helping leaders perform at a higher level, I know that’s not always true.
Part of being a great leader is understanding yourself. Think about how you make decisions and set priorities. What do you base those decisions and priorities on? Are you doing what you do because you think it’s best for the organization? Or are you just trying to convince others you’re a great leader who’s got everything under control?
Be honest with yourself, then get to work.
